October 26, 2009

15 minutes of pride

Pride is a nasty thing, specially when gambling your child's well being...

My boy is almost 3 years old, and from the moment he was born he started on a share custody. Going to his dad's house everyday even until now, and even until now he cries every time he goes refusing to leave with his dad. A few nights ago he, my son, came to me to tell me his daddy doesn't love him, nor his stepmom, he is scared of both of them because they scream. I don't know what to make out from this, but I know that fear is in my son's heart.
But only pride is in his father's heart. dad's 1st response, denial of course, denial that there was such words from a kid and now denial he has anything to do with this and denial he can be part of the solution.

The court parameters is that my son sees his dad every from 5pm to 7:30pm, pertaining that is good for the child - it isn't - the child cries EVERY time he goes, he even has digestive problems due to the stress. My suggestion was to reduce the days of visit, but to increment the hours, since the reduction would be of only one day, he, in essence would spend more time with the child, from 3:45pm to 7:30pm.
He is fighting for 15 minutes extra, because it is inconvenient for his schedule to do it as suggested - he doesn't know what to do for 15 minutes, so he wants a earlier pick up, even if the child is in the middle of his nap.

15 minutes that would take him to go to the bathroom, 15 minutes to get a coffee, 15 minutes to text treats and insults as he did before, he doesn't want to give 15 minutes to help his son with his separation anxiety, because 15 minutes puts a dent on his schedule.
As a dad who claims undying love to his kid, who moans and whines for more time with his kid, would you rather have your kid 8 or 12 hours per week - I know, it takes no science...

But when pride is your motivator, the best deal for someone else (even if it is your son) is your biggest lost.

Document as I said, because court is not over until the kids get a fair share of the situation.

Love your kids, even through somebody else's pride.
They will thank YOU one day.

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