Never married to the dad (thank God!).
I initiated the custody filing because of the dad's constant bullying. He wanted a 50/50 share time, while the baby was still an infant.
He would be emotionally and verbally abusive, resorting to threats made by him and his friends.
So, I hired a lawyer (I don't even know I could afford it at the time) and initiated the process.
I was VERY FEARFUL, and there wasn't a single day when I questioned my decision - even now I question that decision. But what kept me going was to give a stable future for my child. I am convinced that a 50/50 situation is not good for an infant, toddler, to no kid at all. So it began.
There were numerous fights, friends were lost, rumors were started, even condemnation from our church pastor - but the well being of my child was worth it.
I have physical custody, dad sees the child every day for dinner (my son goes to his place) and every other weekend.
I don't like not seeing my child, but I know it is best for him and I am learning to accept it.
If you are planing to file and the dad's motive is only his pride, you will face a hard battle, but look at your child, have his/her best interest at heart, gather support and good advice - and why not - pray!
I am here if you need to talk :)